🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. We’re advising all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into canned food and shotguns.” That bit of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, speaking, bespectacled member of the slick creature crowd that infests Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s merely an financial suggestion from one monster to another. However, oddly enough, it’s also pretty solid existential counsel. Truly, hear me out.

When situations deteriorate, the most counterproductive action you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Actually, most of the fang-bearing creatures that occupy Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (debateably his greatest) possess the same knowing, self-referential comic sensibility regarding the blurry line separating the mundane and absolute bedlam. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and the older I get, it’s the underlying idea that echoes the loudest.

A Childhood Obsession

Naturally, my fondness for this movie didn’t start on such an introspective level. Growing up, we possessed merely a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box probably bought from an independent video outlet and featuring snarling creatures on its tattered front. I was instantly captivated and these films quickly proceeded lodging themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. From then on, they became an almost-daily part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s initial installment commonly garners all the plaudits, thanks mostly because of its legacy as a partly frightening holiday classic – and let me be clear, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its follow-up rarely gets the same level of elevated esteem, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d seclude myself indoors and play it. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. Over time, it etched itself permanently in my psyche. If my parents noticed this obsession, they appeared unbothered.

Subtler Rewards and Pop-Culture Nuggets

As I matured, new revelations rewarded frequent screenings, amplifying the pleasure of watching diminutive verdant beasts happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his second wife Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp has more heart than his genuine article inspiration.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was inspired by a real-life “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world really ended. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film varying versions of a meta sequence where Gremlins hijack the exact movie you are viewing. A version for theaters, one for VHS and TV, each providing a grinning portion of meta pop-culture magic ahead of its time.

A Persistent Legacy

While it was creature designer Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that captured my attention as a child, this hidden treasure maintained my fascination as an adult. In time, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no reservations informing me he made the movie with the direct intention of ridiculing those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This Looney Tunes-esque defiance and commitment to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses obviously desired, only made me love it even more.

When I experienced a abrupt familial death not long ago, I was taken aback to discover that, during my heightest mourning, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Possibly not. The comforting familiarity it offered was essential to dilute my mind’s grief morass – but the stuff it had bestowed upon me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just are powerless over. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to be like them: accept the turmoil, invest all your resources into preserved goods and firearms and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a most improbable origin – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will eternally stand as my go-to cinematic solace.